We Belong Dead
by syfy4life
Summary: Starts at the begining of s4. Dean comes back from Hell but he is so broken the angels dont even want him. one-shot. short, sweet, and to the point AU Rated M for lemons, gore, murder, and whatever else you may find. Warning: Mentions of but no detailed Wincest. Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural. first story, second attempt please R&R if you choose to read, help a girl out


When dean was pulled from hell, he came back different. The friggin angels even gave up on him saying he was too broken and damaged to be of any use. He started drinking more and even picked up smoking again, which Sam had only seen him do a few times back in high school. He would spend more time on his own and on one occasion Sam heard Dean arguing with himself in the bathroom.

Dean had trouble adjusting to being back top side and sometimes missed the simplicity of hell, either be tortured or do the torturing. That was it. That was hell. Being back was a lot more complicated. He couldn't bring himself to talk to Sammy about it. He didn't even know where to start.

Oh hey Sammy yeah I was tortured for what felt like thirty years and tortured other sons a bitches for the last ten, oh and now that I'm back I'm having hallucinations about Alastair and I am practically craving someone else to dig my knife into and worst of all I'm fantasizing sexually and deadly about you little bro. No big.

"Well I think that's a great little speech. Honesty is the best policy." Alastair spoke up from the kitchenette. "Shut up." Dean muttered in return while in the fetal position on his bed curled up on a pillow.

"Dude I didn't say anything." Sam replied from the table by the window. Deans felt his neck crack with the movement when he jerked in surprise to look at Sammy. He was so lost in thought he forgot Sam was even in the damn room."I'm goin' out," Dean gruffly voiced with large quick steps toward the door. He didn't even give Sam a chance to reply before he was outside walking to the impala. As he reached the car he realized he had forgotten the keys so decided to take off on foot to the nearest bar. They were in Louisiana this time around so Dean new he could basically walk in any direction and hit a bar in less than thirty minutes of walkin'. Then maybe he could just get a ride back from someone who took a fancy to him.

"Always such a little slut, Dean, I bet you miss it here don't you? Tell me, do you also miss my cock?" Alastair's voice came from behind him. Dean didn't reply. He was never gay, bisexual, or even bi-curious but sometimes on the worst days, yes he did miss the painful disgusting rape that Alastair had inflicted on him.

It was the worst form of torture, dean thought. He personally would have chosen to be skinned one thousand times over than to be penetrated like that again. But yes Dean missed it, only when he thought about how he wanted to kill an innocent person because he thought it would also be a great punishment. He was bad and he deserved it.

Oh and when he thought about incest with his little brother. He imagined them having some twisted relationship taking turns tying each other up and torturing the shit out of one another then roughly fucking when it was all over. Then he would wish to be back in Hell. He was just too damaged to be back here, and around Sammy. Innocent, compassionate, beautiful Sammy who's soul burned brighter than the stars.

Dean had thought of killing himself on several occasions. Alastair would laugh and beg for him to do it and just when he would put the knife to his wrists or gun to his head Sammy would always call. Sammy would always save him.

It was like he could feel dean about to do it, he always got to him just in the nick of time. Maybe tonight would be different though. Maybe tonight dean could go back home to hell. With that final thought dean smiled and saw a strip club that just came into view.

He walked in, paid the cover charge, and quickly ordered two whiskey's neat and went to find a table near the back, away from the dancers. Dean loved watching the beautiful ladies but knew he was too lost in thought to give them the attention they crave.

Once he got comfortable, dean noticed the song that came on and cringed, it was some fast pace rap song that the dancer was having trouble finding a rhythm to so she chose to gyrate like she was having a seizure.

Dean checked the time on his phone and noticed Sam had called three times already. It was only nine o'clock now so it was pretty slow in the club but dean knew from experience that since it was a Friday night it would pick up pretty soon, usually around eleven. Dean downed both of his whiskeys before the first dancer was even through and headed back to the bar to order more. Once the people came it would be harder to get a bartenders attention so he might as well get hammered now. Dean stubbed out half of his

"Why are you dinking so heavily tonight dean?" Alastair's voice echoed in his head again. Dean looked to his right, where the voice had came from and saw Alastair's dark face and smiled in return. Once he ordered his drinks and got settled back into the table he looked over at Alastair and spoke up, "I'm gonna try again. To go back to hell, I'm ready to go back. Being here is just too good for someone like me. I need the darkness back."

As Dean started drinking his third whiskey another striper took the stage and you could immediately tell she knew exactly what she was doing and had been in the business a while. The dancer had bleached blonde hair like most skanks do with fake looking tits and a tan that she probably got from a tanning booth but the way she worked the pool and swayed her hips Dean couldn't keep his eyes off her.

"Her real name is Katie, she has a son but pawned him off on her mother instead of taking care of him, of protecting him the way a mother should. Instead she chooses to work here for fun and takes about five different drugs everyday. Sometimes she takes the good looking clients home and fucks them for money, then spends that money on drugs, not her son."

"Stop" Dean interrupted Alastair's rambling.

"it would be better for her family if she were dead. That way her son wouldn't have to know that she doesn't love him enough to take care of him. Her mother wouldn't have to think about how she let down her daughter again for the millionth time. Her father could sleep easier without wondering when he'll get a call from the police again, of maybe the hospital. All there suffering could stop"

"Please." Dean begged as his hand twitched for a second wanting to grab the knife that was at his side.

"Please what dean?" Alastair questioned with his eyebrows raised. "If your gonna come back home you may as well go out with one first and last hurrah on earth. It could be like a suicide note to Sammy. You claim to want the darkness back to take it."

Dean groaned already fantasizing his hands around the strippers neck slowly suffocating her and watching the life drain from her eyes.

"It could be so easy. You know that and I will be with you the whole time. I'll even walk you through it if you'd like" the hallucination of Alastair pleaded.

Dean knew he wasn't real but at times like these he tended to forget that little thought in the back of his mind that told him that and right now he thought Alastair was as real as dean himself was. So instead of arguing with Alastair he smiled at the hallucination and finally felt the freest he has been since coming back to earth.

"I miss this." Dean finally admitted out loud even if it was just to a fabric of his own imagination. "I miss you, I miss you carving me into a million different pieces. I miss carving up other souls and your praise when one of them gave a particularly awful scream." He reminisced.

"Hey cutie, tipping the ladies tonight?" The stripper, Katie, asked pulling Dean out of his dark thoughts. "How about a lap dance while were at it handsome?" She asked after dean put a five dollar bill in her neon thong.

"Maybe later, Cher." Dean smirked at her using a fake southern accent and using the cultures term of endearment. She fake pouted at him and snaked an arm around his shoulders "I sure hope so, what are you doing here all by yourself anyway? Usually it's the older guys that come here this early and all alone. Having woman trouble?" She asked.

"Nah, sweetheart, more like an identity crisis. You see, I'm not the same person I used to be." Dean told the stripper mainly because why the hell not strippers and bartenders are the best people to talk too about any problem.

"Oh, well people change all the time honey that's ok. You just have to do whatever makes you happy and everyone else with learn to understand and if the don't than fuck 'em who need 'em." Katie advised.

Dean smiled darkly at Katie, "Thank you, that is just what I needed to hear. I think I will go for a lap dance actually."

Katie smiled happily at that and pulled dean with her to the back of the club where there were several comfortable dirty looking chairs and thin walls that separated them into cubicles. Across the cubicles was a full length mirror that covered the entire wall so that you could see yourself getting your lap dance.

Dean was completely relaxed and allowed her to pull him into one of the chairs as a song started up; dean happily noticed is wanted dead or alive by bon jovi. She slowly slid into his lap with her back to him but they had locked eyes on each other through the mirror and Katie's breathe caught. Dean's green eyes were so intense they intimidated her. She wasn't quite paying attention to dean throughout there conversation and had only been thinking about the money but now that they were so close and she could see his features better she had a thrilling chill creep up her spine.

She was scared but it turned her on to be so close to danger she thought and began to grind on dean harder as she felt his obvious erection growing. She smirked at him and put her leg over the arm of the chair so that in the mirror you could see her start to touch herself through the thin fabric of her thong. She moved her other hand back over her head so she could grab the back of dean's neck pulling him closer to her as she grinded against him and played with herself.

In the mirror dean couldn't deny that it was sexy as fuck to watch but he also couldn't stop thinking about how good it would feel to burry his knife into her throat hearing her gurgled breathing and seeing the shock in her eyes as the light faded out of them. With that thought his erection grew even harder. Straining against his jeans begging to be released from there hold to the point that it hurt.

Katie seemed to take notice and turned her head so she could look at dean directly. "When the dance is over meet me out back in the parking lot" Katie invited. "You got it Cher" dean smirked happily.

The dance in Katie's head seemed to last a bit too long for her liking and she was all hot and bothered by the intimidating intense man behind her. Dean was having a hard time keeping his hands to himself but he noticed one of the bodyguards constant scanning of the room checking on the dancers.

The song had finally ended and they both got to their feet dean having to double over a little do to his noticeable and painful boner. She smiled and led him out of the room slowly turning her lust filled eye to the back door.

With that she walked though the door and dean went back to the bar to order another drink before following Katie outside. He decided to go out the front and walk around to the back so no one would take notice that he followed her out and they wouldn't interrupt them.

As he stepped outside the humidity hit him immediately and he felt sticky and dirty already. He lit up a cigarette and started to walk around the building. She was spotted easily standing next to a Saturn ion. She smiled at him and crooked her finger at him telling to come over. He stalked over to her like she was his prey and she shivered even though it was about 90 degrees outside.

He was standing right in front of her now his lust filled eyes shined brightly and her breathe caught his beauty again. He pulled another drag from his cigarette and blew the smoke over her head, then took a large gulp of his whiskey reveling in the burn down his throat.

"Mind if I bum a cigarette?" Katie asked and Dean nodded giving her the one he had been smoking, "Lets go ahead and get in the car. I'm not supposed to be out here and if I'm caught I'll get fired."

"Sure thing." Dean smiled as he walked around to the passenger side of her car making sure to use his jacket to open the door. She smiled over at him still intimidated, as they got settled. She knew she wanted this but couldn't seem to gather the courage to initiate action. Dean just feed off her fear wanted it to drawl it out a long as possible.

"So I've never seen you here before." Katie stated but from her voice you could tell it was a question.

"No, you haven't." Dean agreed, not giving anything away, instead he let his eyes scan over her body appreciatively and Katie immediately felt herself flush with want and that's all in took. Tossing the cigarette out the window she reached for dean.

Dean grabbed her roughly pulling her from the driver's side onto his lap so she was straddling him. She kissed up the side of his neck as her hands roamed over his stomach feeling the tight muscles of his abs. "Oh, fuck." She moaned as she grounded herself deeper into his jean covered cock.

Dean practically growled sliding his hand up her thigh and barely there skirt pushing her thong to the side and felt the wetness there, her slit practically dripping. Dean slid two fingers roughly into her folds and she moaned louder rolling her head back. She reached for the button of his jeans but he quickly grabbed her wrist hard with his.

"You got any condoms?" Dean asked roughly. "Oh yeah don't worry baby." Katie purred and reached behind her opening the glove compartment. She grabbed a long strip of about five and pulled one off using her teeth.

Dean began to slowly move his hand and added a third finger in her shaved pussy as she reached for his jean's button again. She quickly pulled his hardened dick from his pants and slid the condom on. Dean's head fell back as he pulled his fingers out of Katie and she aliened herself with his shaft and then roughly impaled herself on his dick.

It was perfect in dean's mind and was happy that she didn't try to go slow and turn this into something it wasn't. Katie was lost in ecstasy keeping her eyes closed tight and bouncing up and down on dean feeling herself get closer and closer to that edge.

If she had taken the time to open her eyes and look at dean she would have noticed the dark and disgusted look he was giving her and that when he pulled her hair back, that ironically drew her orgasm from her, than she would have noticed the knife in his hand that quickly sliced deeply across her neck. Katie's blood spilled all over death and he was basically covered with it head to toe. He smiled, he felt so free, so happy, he wanted more, needed it. While lighting the cigarette he turned to Alastair who in return gave him a little smile.

"I'm glad to see that you are coming around but you did not torture her, you gave her a quick death." Alastair scolded. "Try again. Steal her car leave your brother behind and go to Texas find another victim and do it right this time."

"Wait, no I want to go back home." Dean begged.

Suddenly there was a pounding on the door Dean tried to look through the blood spattered window and was horrified to he Sam's disappointed gaze. Dean threw the dead body off him and zipped himself back into his jeans quickly before opening the door.

"Sammy" Dean couldn't help but smile. He hated that Sam was seeing him this way but then again it was also freeing. Now he could go back to hell and Sammy could understand why. Dean was sick and needed to be put down like the bitch he is.

"Dean." Sam spoke in a low voice. "Why didn't you tell me? We can work something out. I can fix this please?"

"No Sammy, this is who I am now. I belong in hell, and I am no better than a demon here." Dean tried to reason with him stepping closer to Sammy as he talked and Sam found himself backed up into a car. Dean still kept coming closer until he was in Sam's face.

"I'm not good anymore. I'm not 'Dean' anymore." Dean explained desperately while standing so close to Sam that his nose grazed against Sams cheek and dean inhaled deeply wanting to carry his brothers smell with him back to hell.

Sam's heart was going to beat out of his chest he didn't know what to do. He just wanted dean to stay. To try. He couldn't let his big brother give up! He had no idea that Dean was struggling with this and Sam wanted to laugh a little for not telling Dean before now but it was the last card he could play.

"Dean, I'm not 'Sam' anymore." Sam spoke up in a deep voice. "I don't care about the murder or murders I don't care if you continue to do them or not really. Dean you should know. I've been drinking Demon blood ever since you've been gone. I've changed." Sam grabbed Dean by the shoulders and pulled him the last bit closer and kissed his older brother with such emotion, begging Dean to stay.

Dean shoved Sam off him so hard that Sam's head bounced off the car behind him. Dean was shaking his head profusely back and forth repeating NO to himself over and over.

Sam was trying to calm down is big brother from his position at the car, worried that if he got closer it would set Dean off even worse. So he stood there, begging him to talk to him, look at him, and see this was real and what Sam wanted.

Suddenly Dean stopped talking and smiled at Sam, Sam's heart immediately jumped and he smiled back with out thinking and never once noticed the gun that Dean had pulled out from behind his back. "Well then, we belong dead." Dean said and suddenly all Sam felt was a searing hot and burning pain and ringing in his ears. He looked down and saw his shirt was red and sticking to him right at his heart. His legs shacked and gave out when his soul left his body.

Dean's smile never left his face as he quickly turned the gun on himself, pressing the muzzle to the side of his head and squeezed the trigger. Leaving brain matter splattered everywhere and the bloody mess from the three murders that took place in a time span of sixteen minutes in the back on the strip club parking lot. Sam and dean's souls no longer on earth. The vessels for Lucifer and Michael both rendered useless unless they wanted to drag them from hell again but both sides knew that the brother's were too lost and broken to ever say Yes too either side so they would just have to use there back up vessels instead.

Sam and Dean both went directly to Hell and spent the rest of their eternity torturing each other and fucking with out being judged, eventually, slowly, their souls will turn black and they will rise to earth wearing some poor bastards to the prom but until then Sam and Dean just enjoyed their time in Hell.


End file.
